Life is like...a cup of coffee?

I don’t know what living out here has done to me.  Life seems more beautiful, more subtle.  The undertones and coloring of life have taken on more importance and I find myself enjoying the moment in all its complexities.  At first, I thought perhaps I had become way too serious.  The light-hearted, care-free Alex from yesteryears didn’t seem to come out as easily.  But this evaluation didn’t seem correct.  My perspective hadn’t changed, the same reasons I had been joyous all the time still existed.  The only way I can think to explain it is in an analogy.  As a kid, coke was one of the greatest drinks.  Sweet, delicious and pure bliss in a bottle.  Nothing complicated, just precious sweetness.  However, after getting older, growing a more sophisticated palette, and expanding your taste horizon, you begin enjoying other drinks.  Like coffee.  It seems almost a crime to drink coffee instead of coke, since coffee has such a bitter flavor.  Yet it contains so many layers of flavor that though it doesn’t seem as enjoyable as coke, it actually is more so because of its complexity.

So there it is.  Sometimes situations seem too coke-like for me to enjoy.   Too simple, too much on the surface, not enough underneath.  Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy the less subtle pleasures in life, like a coffee drinker will always enjoy the occasional coke, but they feel more empty.  And this new change doesn’t imply that I don’t enjoy the simple things in life.  It actually means that the simple joys in life are more intense, because now I am more in tune with the underlying beauties during those moments.  It really is an amazing feeling.

But I worry how this new attitude will come across.  It can easily come off as condescending.  Add that to the feeling that no one can relate because of my recent experiences (except other Peace Corps), I see now why many return volunteers not only have a hard time adjusting, but come off as snooty.  It’s an easy defense mechanism to shut ourselves off from a world we don’t feel comfortable in.

So, while I enjoy this new perspective in life, we’ll see how it translates back home.  Inshallah it’ll add to my US life, not take away.

Winter Solstice? Celebrating the holidays PC (hippy) style

I had never heard of anyone celebrating the Winter Solstice, until I met Ben Van Dusen in college.  Even then, I thought it was some weird winter celebration that only hardcore hippies celebrated (Ben was from Oregon, go figure.)  Well, the Winter Solstice came around and I just celebrated it for the first time (officially).  So maybe it is a normal holiday.  Or maybe I’m just a hardcore hippy now.  My hair is certainly long enough.  I’m dirty most of the time.  Damn.  Whatever the case, it has its perks because our Winter Solstice celebration was amazing.

Lately, a few of us volunteers have been trying to perfect our Indian food cuisine.  So since we had all these spices from previous cooking trials, we thought it would be a good idea to cook Indian for the holidays.  It came out amazing (oddly enough, it was this time that I did not help cook…maybe I need a new hobby).  Samosas, pumpkin curry, dhal…the meal was heaven.  The night was also crowned with a single malt 16 year whiskey (sorry mom and dad for being drunk when you called, but it was really good liquor).  A good pinot grigio was there, as well as locally made mango liquor and locally made chocolate mint liquor.  Top all this off with some hookah, grape mint flavor, and you have yourself one hell of a Winter Solstice.

Isn’t Peace Corps great?  Although I miss family and friends back home, it’s times like these that remind me of how great a life I lead.  It seems like I’ve learned so many things here in the Peace Corps and experienced so many different aspects of life that I had never knew existed before.  Who knew being a hippy was so much fun?

Mango, Mango, Mango...Drop baby, drop baby drop...drop all your love on me

“It is the king of fruits,” says the short Indian man, owner of the largest (perhaps only) mango export business in The Gambia.

Indeed.  Mangoes have never been such a part of my life.  Us Californians are not unfamiliar to mangoes, we usually can find them in the supermarket albeit for a premium price.  And it always surprised me to meet so many Americans that had never had a mango before.  Then I moved to The Gambia.  From April to August/September, mangoes fall from trees like little packages of sweetness from heaven in quantities that outweigh our ability to eat them.  There are so many mangoes that during the mango season you can see stacks of rotting mangoes on the side of the road.  The sound of a mango hitting the ground becomes part of our everyday environment and the dropping of the mango is further emphasized as children try to kill each other in a race to collect it.  Everyday my host mother brings me at least a couple mangoes.  Every compound I walk into offers me a mango as a snack.  To say the least, mangoes were an integral part of my life.

So understand my surprise when later I find that they could even be a bigger part of my life.  The World Bank is trying to promote the use of private business as a development tool and has funded a horticultural project as part of this mission.  Well, with all the wasted Mangoes in this country, why not process them, try to find a larger market for them and put the plentiful mangoes here to productive use?  So, I find myself working with a Gambian American, a British business consultant, and a South African Mango consultant, trying to see how feasible a mango business would be.  For about a month, my entire life revolved around mangoes.  What kind of products are being produced locally?  What kind of products are being imported?  Is there a local market that buys mango products?  What are the quality of the mango orchards?  Is there a place to buy mangoes?  How do you control for mango quality?  What are the best types of mangoes?  For exporting fresh?  For exporting as a pulp? For sugar content?  For fiber content?  On and on and on and on.

This is just the tip of the iceberg.  And anything that I’ve learned about mangoes, how to raise the trees, what kind of equipment exists to harvest or process and what the markets look like is only a miniscule fraction of what this Mango Consultant knows.  Aside from the constant corny jokes and puns, in a South African accent, that this man uses, he has lived his entire life studying and consulting about tropical fruits.  More to my surprise is how it seems I can ask any question, on any subject, and be taught well by this man.

So that is why for the last month I’ve found myself in the big city, working with a big NGO, on a project funded by a big organization (World Bank).  My contribution to it is less novel than the mango knowledge, as I focused on the local market and business development (export regulations, local competitors, business constraints, etc).  But really, I never would have thought that I’d be surrounded by mangoes like I was for this project.

Trying to become who I want to be

I looked at my blog for the first time in a long time.  I can't believe more than a year has passed by since I've written in my blog.  Well, there is no time like the present to start writing.  Maybe this time I'll actually be better about it.  I'd bank on no...but who knows?

So, with my close of service fast approaching, and only 5 months of service left, my place here is weird.  A friend e-mailed me and put it perfectly, "trying to soak up last moments of village but one foot is back in America."  It's an odd balancing act.  But they do have one thing in common...trying to accomplish the personal growth that I originally set out to do.

I believe every Peace Corps volunteer had some sort of vision of who he/she would be after their service was over.  We all join the Peace Corps for different reasons, but the chance for two years of reflection and personal growth must be a factor for most volunteers.  Well, now that my time here is almost up, and thinking about what life will be like when I get back, has me evaluating my progress and assessing what I still need to do while I'm here.  For me, as can be expected, it isn't something specific that needs to change, but rather a vision that needs to be accomplished.  All I know is that I would like to be a caring man, who understands what is important in his life and has the discipline to accomplish his goals.  Hopefully, that is happening.  I am tired of floating, whatever country I may be in.

Well, that's my current thoughts.  I'm going to try to catch you up on my current project.  But I'll say one thing now...I never knew that there was so much to know about Mangoes...yeah, that's right, mangoes.

Figuring things out

Family and Friends,

Let me start of by saying how much I miss you all. I usually don't like to linger on the hardships here throughout my posts and e-mails, but it has definitely been a hard month full of doubt, questions and missing awesome events in the US (Decade party, Rock the Bells, or the death of Bernie Mac...hahaha). I don't know how to put it, but it feels like a turning point in my service here. The make or break point. It's been long enough where I feel like I've been here for a while, but not long enough where I know I'll be going home soon. And despite the adventure and awesome things I'm learning, I also learn how important home is, how lucky I am and how much family and friends were the cornerstone of my life.

So like I said before, make or break point. This is important in what I'm doing here. All the things I've been talking about so far have been small projects as I get acquainted with Peace Corps and the Gambia. However, some of teh more exciting projects have not got off the ground, so now I'm getting ancy...I need something to work towards, a goal. So although the same sort of events are occuring I'm trying to put them in the background and try to focus on something that I really want to do. I mean, how often does a man have a chance to really do anything he wants? All they ask is that it helps the village. I'm not sure yet, but right now I'm playing with the idea of music. If I could get a community radio station or start a local group, help local artists put their name out, get drama groups to perform on important topics and roll it all in with some sort of income generation, that would be awesome. It's a work in progress. On a side note, this idea came from a friend who lives in a larger village that has a radio station at her site and she invited to do a show there. I think I will do a hip-hop show featuring songs that can relate to the Gambian life here, such as promotion of self-esteem (think, Blackstar - Brown Skin Lady), learning (KRS-One - You must learn) and love (Lauryn Hill - To Zion).

Another things I'm getting involved in is training of new volunteers. I am also extremely excited about this. I think it's really important for us to have a solid training ground, because it is something so different, exciting, strange and scary that I really wanted to help in this endeavour. So now I am taking on a large role in the training here, albeit a role that will allow me to learn how it works, so that next year I can basically be the one to carry on the torch of knowledge. Getting involved in the administration of Peace Corps is another way I hadn't though about helping. But there is so much potential for growth of our services that it is an exciting prospect to take advantage of.

So, to sum it all up, it's been a difficult month. However, I am trying hard to see it as a growing pain where not only will my character is growing but my understanding of my role here is too. As dad would say, "Suck it up." Or Aaron, "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger." or "Trudge on" or "No pain no gain." hahahahahaha....oh another thing is that a survival technique I've come up with is to allow myself a large margin of eccentricity. Anyways, hopefully next time we speak I'll be busy with a really awesome project and on my way to enlightenment.

Until then, I love you all and miss you more than a fat kid miss food on a diet.

Alex

What do I say?

I've been slacking on the entries. And really, I'm no good at this blogging thing. Never know what to write. Most people want to know what's going on, and I'm just continuing what I've been doing. But soon I'll go to Dakar, a short break, and then back to the village.

One thing I think about is how will things be when I'm back home. It's fun to think about. Will I have a completely different outlook, and if so, how so? What will my boys (Noah, Jacob, Jordan and Marcus) look like? Big and tall? Marcus talking? And how are the dynamics shifting in all my circles? How will I put myself back in.

My thoughts are like this alot over here. We have time here to think, to sit and watch the clouds, to observe the village on goings. And while I learn alot through my present experience, and strive to live in the present, I also learn alot reflecting on the past. What has my life been up to now and what have I learned from it? How can I use these lessons while I'm here? How can I use syntehsize my lessons from the past and my lessons from the present, to the future?

I've gotten a lot of letters and contact from people back home since my Birthday, and it's made me thoughtful. While you are here, you are faced with yourself more. Your whole self is on display, since it is in a new culture, new environment and you are new to the community. You are forced to face yourself and adapt. You are made to learn what's important to you. Learn to know what is trivial. Learn about how people interact and how you fit in to that interaction, in a new light, which sheds light on what you already knew.

My village is a beautiful place, laid back and friendly. Being here is wonderful. But it also makes you realize how beautiful the US is, what kind of opportunities are there, and the beauty that doesn't take you thousands of miles to enjoy.

I'm not sure if it's being here or a function of maturity, but I'm realizing life is too precious to not enjoy it. The ability to enjoy it is too precious not to enjoy it. And that to enjoy it doesn't take all that much. It can be felt in a Good and Welfare during a Pilam meeting, a Sunday brunch with a friend, dinner with the family, that cool Torrance breeze on a "hot" (I laugh when I think of what I thought of hot) Torrance day, playing video games with my cousins, or just sitting with a fresh brew of coffee and looking at people pass by.

I don't know. Maybe I'm turning into a new ager. Or a hippy. I hope not (to either), but when you slow down life, and have to redefine your reactions to pleasure and pain, it becomes clear that it really is all about the simple things in life. Everything is just icing on the cake.

With that, though I have not detailed anything specific, just my train of thought, I pass.

Alex

Some Awaited Details

Everyone is curious to what my life is really like. I’ve written on tidbits of life here, and gone off on philosophical tangents, but have never really sat down and tried to piece together my life here in The Gambia and explain it in a post.

Is it a life changing experience? Sometimes I feel like nothing has changed, but then I reflect back on the past or home and realize that it feels like nothing has changed because the change has become an everyday part of my life. It has become normal.

My work has been very hodge podge lately. There is the Junior Achievement award, a class teaching entrepreneurial skills to high school students, that I am now technical advisor for. But now I am waiting for the second half of the class to start, called the practical, where students get money to create a business for 6 months, so my time has freed up for now. Then I’m teaching computer classes to a few hospital workers, trying to eventually get them to be able to keep electronic records. I’m also getting involved in a credit union that is trying to be formed combining several villages’ finances and I want to form a class like Junior Achievement for younger students.

But for me, although the job aspect is important, I think the foreground life is my everyday life in the village. I do my job here and there on a looser schedule than we are used to in America, so a lot of my time is going around village and hanging out with people. I wake up in the morning, and usually buy bread and mayonnaise from the local store owner, Abulai. Abulai is becoming one of my friends and we chat it up for a little and next to his bantaba (a bench under a tree). There is another bantaba where a woman who sells meat pies, fish wrapped in flour and deep fried, right next to Abulai and I greet her and chat with her and the women posse for a bit. The women posse include this women, Umi, an older lady, a few girls from the compound close by. Then I usually check on the hospital, and on my way stop by Sarr kunda, a compound where one girl named nene, a four year old who always runs fast as she can with a big smile everytime I come by, lives. She might be my best friend, haha.

So as you can see, much conversation happens, and it continues all day, with hospital staff, family and other compounds. Work happens in between these conversations. I’ve also starting to get involved in village activities from school parties to sowing in the fields. Okay, I’ve only went once to the fields so far and it was to sow peanut (not the hardest thing in the world), but I plan to do more.

So that's life in a nutshell for me. I wish I could just let you see life through my eyes to better communicate all this...

Okay, my time here in the 'big' city is done and I'm back off to my village to start anew, rested and with fresh perspectives.