Friday, September 19, 2008

What do I say?

I've been slacking on the entries. And really, I'm no good at this blogging thing. Never know what to write. Most people want to know what's going on, and I'm just continuing what I've been doing. But soon I'll go to Dakar, a short break, and then back to the village.

One thing I think about is how will things be when I'm back home. It's fun to think about. Will I have a completely different outlook, and if so, how so? What will my boys (Noah, Jacob, Jordan and Marcus) look like? Big and tall? Marcus talking? And how are the dynamics shifting in all my circles? How will I put myself back in.

My thoughts are like this alot over here. We have time here to think, to sit and watch the clouds, to observe the village on goings. And while I learn alot through my present experience, and strive to live in the present, I also learn alot reflecting on the past. What has my life been up to now and what have I learned from it? How can I use these lessons while I'm here? How can I use syntehsize my lessons from the past and my lessons from the present, to the future?

I've gotten a lot of letters and contact from people back home since my Birthday, and it's made me thoughtful. While you are here, you are faced with yourself more. Your whole self is on display, since it is in a new culture, new environment and you are new to the community. You are forced to face yourself and adapt. You are made to learn what's important to you. Learn to know what is trivial. Learn about how people interact and how you fit in to that interaction, in a new light, which sheds light on what you already knew.

My village is a beautiful place, laid back and friendly. Being here is wonderful. But it also makes you realize how beautiful the US is, what kind of opportunities are there, and the beauty that doesn't take you thousands of miles to enjoy.

I'm not sure if it's being here or a function of maturity, but I'm realizing life is too precious to not enjoy it. The ability to enjoy it is too precious not to enjoy it. And that to enjoy it doesn't take all that much. It can be felt in a Good and Welfare during a Pilam meeting, a Sunday brunch with a friend, dinner with the family, that cool Torrance breeze on a "hot" (I laugh when I think of what I thought of hot) Torrance day, playing video games with my cousins, or just sitting with a fresh brew of coffee and looking at people pass by.

I don't know. Maybe I'm turning into a new ager. Or a hippy. I hope not (to either), but when you slow down life, and have to redefine your reactions to pleasure and pain, it becomes clear that it really is all about the simple things in life. Everything is just icing on the cake.

With that, though I have not detailed anything specific, just my train of thought, I pass.

Alex